Win over Mr. Procrastination-Monkey kilometer by kilometer

Thank you for all messages. I will take time to respond within the next days; but be assured I am already starting to pray. If you want to hop in, you still can. 

 While I was writing my thesis, I obvioulsy started reading articles online about procrastination. I found this amazing essay by the blogger Wait but why (part 1 "Why procrastinators procrastinate" and part 2 "How to beat procrastination").

What really stuck with me was the visual imagination of the monkey inside of me who wants to have fun, and therefore always seeks the easiest way of gratification.
Before you have made progress on a task, he will want to just chill and hang out and do nothing. But once you fought yourself through the most part of something, the monkey becomes your friend because it also has fun when stuff gets done. 

I thought of that during my biking days a lot.

Every morning, I was seriously overwhelmed by the 100 kilometers I planned to ride on my bike. How am I ever going to do that? I looked at the notes I took and all these villages and cities I was supposed to go through and it freaked me out. There were so many.
Then you get on your bike and you bike for a few minutes and it says on the tachometer "0.8 km". And you know.. there are more than 99 km to go. Plus kilometers if you get lost.

As I did not have a choice at all, meaning: If I wanted to get home, and also, if I wanted to get towards the place I picked to sleep (if I had one), the only thing that will help me in this very moment is: Keep pedalling. Just keep moving your feet.
So I kept moving. And then, at some point, the tachometer said: "11.2 km". And then, it said: "24.5". I still felt like the whole day was in front of me. But by then, I also already knew - having done nearly 25 km means: only three times 25 more to go. I can do this.

On the hard days, on the days I felt sick and tired, I couldn't look at the tachometer. I stared ahead on the street and just moved my legs - and one day, that's when I had to think of the article mentionned above because I realized: You make progress, if you do the task you are supposed to do - even if you do it extremely slow and unmotivated. You will get there.
I got home.

And then, there is always this moment where it tips. Usually around "65 km", I realized: I am nearly there. I'm closer to suceeding today than to failing. I can do this.

And the monkey and I flew across the French countryside.

It's one of the most important lessons I learned on my trip.
You get to this "tipping point" only by being persistent and just moving your feet. 
Keep going. Just do what you are supposed to do (and don't do anything else. Don't start walking or swimming or dancing when you are on a bike!). You WILL make progress. You will get there. 

It's the key to following through with plans, even with an adventure like this. This whole thing started out as a note in my journal. Then googling how many kilometer it would be and how much time I would have. Just to reassure myself that this is a stupid idea and that it's not possible. It didn't hurt to check these things, but they were already progress on the way to get there.
At some point, I started asking people about bikes. And bike trips.
And suddenly, I was buying a bike. And there I went.
This is how it starts. So just start moving your feet slowly. And once you are in it, keep moving.

Because you will get home.

this is quite practical for a final post. but if it gets you moving (if you want to get moving), it's all that needs to be said on here at the end of my bike trip :)

thank you so much for listening. 

I hope you know what you can't do...

Sarah, my smart friend, sent me a message four days before I arrived. I read it in Dijon, and it said: "I hope this trip makes you realize how capable your are. But also, I hope you learn what you can't do. How much you need other people."

CHAPEAU TO YOU.

Oh yes. I have learnt that. Even though I did this "alone", I could not have done this alone.
I have recieved so much help these past weeks, it's ridicoulous. So many friends and strangers helped me with my plan, there is no way I can ever give back all the love and support.

But I will try to.

Remember when I asked you about your dream? What is on your heart when you read about my adventure? What do you want to do? (If you don't have one, don't worry. No pressure ;)) -

.... but if there is something you dream of doing and you don't feel brave or capable or strong enough, let me tell you this:
 
1. I went to bike nearly 1400 km and I didn't know how to change a tire (still don't know...). So if you don't feel prepared, feel free to go back to this post - and be reminded: It's about your heart, not (all) about preperation. 

2. If you say it out loud, even just to yourself, this is when it starts. See this picture below? I was sitting in a café in April, reading this book, and I wrote down in my journal: "Bike tour home from Biarritz end of September?" I did not at all think I will do it, I just thought: Here's an idea.
But once I wrote it down, it sort of became a plan. You have nothing to lose by writing it down, but you can win an amazing adventure.

April 2014.

3. I needed God for this adventure. I had this blog, and texts from friends - but when I was desperate, when I was feeling weak and annoyed, it was between God, Steve and I.
God dreams big and he loves it when we do what's on our heart. Fill God in on your plans. And that's why I will go for a big walk on Thursday and I want to pray for your dreams.

So, my phone works again - and- here is my phone number:
zero zero four nine - one five two - two six five four - six zero nine five*

I don't need to know your name, nor the reason for your dream, nor if you believe in God or not - just please text me what you dream of doing.
I will go for a big walk on Thursday morning and I will pray for all the dreams I receive by then. Really, just get it out there to me, it's safe with me and I won't laugh at anything (because no one laughed at me) and I am excited to see you guys conquering the world.

It's the least I can do - and also the most, because that really is how advenutres start.

So I hope by reading this you know, for your own dream,
you 1. don't need to wait until you are perfectly prepared,
2. you need to dare to say your dreams out loud to yourself
and 3. it could be of help if you talk to God about it. Or let me do it.

Looking forward to your messages. 
Tomorrow, I will blog about Mr. Procrastination-Monkey, who is a very dangerous breed.

- Also - if you want some encouraging advice (I don't know anything about bikes, but I know some stuff about adventure) or some ideas concerning your dream in any form, feel free to send me an e-mail. I would love to be of help: rosarollt@gmail.com
 
*yes, I am aware it's not the smartest thing to give our your number on the internet to everyone who can read, but to be honest, everyone who reads this blog might already know I am not exactly all "smart"... ;)

I simply love cows.

Day 13: Arrived. Angekommen.

(post from yesterday - sorry to everyone who worried if everything is okay. I arrived safe and sound yesterday - but then, I was busy celebrating.. ;))


Day 13, Sunday: 145 kilometer, Ingwiller to HEIDELBERG - You have reached your final destination.
Hero of the day: My sister Elke who has already moved all my stuff to my new room.
Tool of the day: The German language. Because I can finally talk to people without feeling like a 5-year old.
What's new: I'm home. Also, first time I really did cry on my trip ...read below.
Soundtrack of the day (listen to this when you read this post):  Dotan - Home - thank you, Becka, my faithful friend! Come visit me.

Danke, Hannah! :) Ich freu mich auf euch.

Today was one of the hardest days on my trips. The first 50km went through a hilly forest area with lots of wind, in the afternoon, it was hot, then it started to rain and I got very, very, very lost in a forest. A drunken man on a bike who asked three times "Are you not scared?" led me out of the forest at 6:30 pm... But I made it.

I arrived.

In the pouring rain, around 7:15 pm, I saw the street I am going to live in now, and I found my "new" door bell, and it was only then, that I realized: I made it. I biked more than 1350 kilometers across France in 13 days, and here I am, and I am starting a new life in a new town. And all of this feels normal. And crazy. Life is so fast when you don't bike!
My amazing sister suprised my with a furnished room in the new appartment, and my whole family showed up - and an hour later, I already had forgotten that I used to be one of those people "on the road".
I am back in life.

There will be two more blog posts coming, one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. Just because there are two more things on my heart I really want to say. Also, I have not forgotten about the thing I have asked you to do ;)... (write down a dream you have. Doesn't matter if it's big or small. "Ask this guy out" or "Build a house" or "Say sorry to my Grandma" or "Learn how to swim" or "Create an art exhibition"....)
So tomorrow evening, come back here and read why a friend hoped I would learn on this trip how to fail. And on Wednesday, I will want to talk about Mr. Procrastination-Monkey.


---------
thank you so so so much for your support, everyone. It was incredibly helpful to have this blog and get supportive messages, e-mails and comments.
Four special girls need to get a medal for their support during the past two weeks.
Ina - who prayed with me via text message nearly every night. And would have massaged me if I had been next to her.
Elke - who made sure I wasn't going insane by checking on me all the time, all while secretly moving my stuff into my new room :)
Anna - who was my personal bike and health consultant and never laughed at me, only with me about my stupid questions
And then - stunning Sarah, my hiding place and my stepping stone and the one who makes my life so very fun and deep. Thank you so much for your practical and mental help!

And then.. the One and Only. Who was with me during every moment, right by my heart and my moving feet. The One, who made me strong and brave and weak and scared and who showed me this beautiful world. Thank you, Lord.

The day my dad walked to India

Day 12, Saturday: Epinal to Ingwiller (Alsace), 134,5 km.

What’s new: People here speak my language! The names of the villages around here sound so German.

Hero of the day: The nice receptionist in a hotel in Epinal I went into only to print more directions...

Tool of the day: The tachometer. It was fun seeing the number grow on there today.
Soundtrack: Queen – Don’t stop me now

Recently; on my bike (of course), I thought of one of my earliest childhood memories. 

We were on vacation in Leukerbad (Switzerland) and my mother dropped my dad off at a a hiking trail. I was in the car with them and when I asked what he was doing, my mom said: “Papa is going to walk to india”.

There was a little village called Indien (German word for India) in the area. I don’t think I was that naive to really think my dad would be walking to another continent, but I do remember that I pictured him next to elephants and with orientalic music in the background anyway, just for a second. 

It made me think that my dad is very strong and brave, but I do also remember thinking: “It’s probably possible, somehow. My dad could walk to real India, if he wanted to.” (Geography is still not my strength...)

----------

Today, I would like to share some wisdom of Paolo Coelho, the Portugese writer and author of “The Alchemist”, which I read this summer. He talks about why people don’t pursue their goals in the foreword of the book.

“There are four obstacles.
First: we are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible.

As I told you, there might have been a point in my life where I thought that my dad was walking from Switzerland to India within one afternoon.
In general, I feel like I was never really taught about “what’s possible” and “what’s not possible”. My parents just let me try, and sometimes, things worked out, sometimes they didn’t. In my head, living means: “Try and you will see if it works."
I am sharing this here, not to brag about how awesome my childhood was (it was!). I share this here to encourage you and to tell you: Most things are possible. Just try and see, then you will know.

The second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream.

Oh yes. Big obstacle for me. When I started to think about this trip, I knew I would need a lot of support and help, such as: How to get my bike up to Biarritz? How is my suitcase getting home? I knew I would be kind of annoying for a lot of people around me with these plans...
But mostly, the problem was this: I knew my parents were up for a few very sleepless nights if I did this. Seriously worried. And if something happened to me, it would hurt them so much – only because I wanted to “try” something? Is that fair? I was very aware of how I put myself at risk, but others would have the consequences (if I needed to be picked up in the middle of nowhere, if I needed medical aid for a long time..).

mountainbike-magazin.de
he seems to know what he is doing..... ;)

The third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path.

Do you notice how he writes: The fear of the defeats – not the actual defeats? The defeats on the path don’t stand in our way as much as the fear of it. 

Here is my biggest fear I had before this whole trip: Sitting somewhere in the forest by myself with a flat tire. (This might sound light a little fear to all of you who know how to change a tire. But I am being serious. I considered not going every time I thought of this scene.)
So far, it hasn’t happened yet. Even if it happens tomorrow, I will find a solution (and arrive Monday the latest). Everytime I think “Thank God - no flat tire so far” I can't help but to also think: What if I hadn’t gone because of this fear? I did nearly 1300km without a flat tire so far (which is crazy!!! You have to have a flat tire if you are biking this far).. Your biggest fear might happen; but it also might not happen. Consider both.

The fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives.”

You might have read so far, and thought once or twice:  “Uta, you are not there yet, why do you give us advice about reaching our goals?” This fourth obstacle is exactly why I am writing about this tonight. The fear of realizing the dream. It sounds like a ridicoulous obstacle, but I think it is the most important one. This fear is real.

If I think about tomorrw, I feel sick. I don’t feel ready, I don’t think I get it yet, and I don’t really know what to do with this whole thing. Arriving is scary, because I am so familiar now with being on the way. Even checking the route for tomorow feels weird: It’s the first time I am not picking a town, or trying to find a place to sleep. 

-------------------------------

I work hard for this blog, I bike all day and then, at night, I write. So now I think it is time that I can ask you something to do, right? Here is your task:

I don’t think you dream of walking to India. But can I ask you to think of what you would like to experience? What do you dream of doing? While reading this blog, has there been a certain thing coming up all the time in your mind?

Please write it down, on a little piece of paper, your journal or in your phone.

Thank you.We need this for the blog post of tomorrow.

-----------------------

Tomorrow, if everything goes as planned, I’ll arrive.
At 7am; Alsace-speaking Christiana is going to wake me and we will have breakfast and then we will see how far I'll get. (Using directions from this page tomorrow, 73-year old Christiana showed it to me. Much nicer than google maps which I have been using.... ;))

I will let you know.

P.S: I just google-diagnosed myself because I felt like I might have a serious problem. My left hand has been feeling numb lately; and I am not kidding you; I googled: "ebola numbness". Luckily, I found out there is a thing called "biker numbness" (literal translation - English - German)

A blinking blue dot and my heart

Day 11, Friday: 73 km, Melay to Epinal.

What’s new: There is a countdown in my head now, counting down the kilometers. It will start tomorrow with the number: 251

Tool of the day: (in remeberance) the blinking blue dot on Google Maps

Hero of the day: The Dutch couple in the room next to me, which I had asked last night to wake me today... because: no phone, no alarm clock. And Simon (Dutch pronounciation: Schimon), who got out a machine (compressor?) to refill my tire.

Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this blog post): Josh Wilson – Carry me. - And this is also a hello & big congrats to the newly engaged couple Jule + Phil!! You are so perfect for each other, it makes my heart rejoice. Can’t wait to celebrate with you!

If you had asked me two days ago what the most important thing is that I carry with me, I would have answered: A blue dot. It’s in my phone and it tells me where I am.

Usually, in the morning before I leave, I load the map for the day on my Google-Maps-App. During the day, I follow my notes, and if I am not sure that I am still right, I check the blue dot on my phone. It indicates where I am, and because I know where I want to go, I can make sure I am getting closer somehow.

stole this picture from this website transrio.com.ar solely for illustration purposes (no phone, no photos..)
Now you all know how a blue dot looks like.

I am in love with this blue dot. It tells me: “Not there yet”. Or: “Careful, you are too far off the route you planned.” It’s so helpful! (I remember my big hiking trip through Germany three years ago, without Smartphone, and all these desperate moments of not exactly knowing where I am...)

Because the thing is: If I know where I want to go, but I don’t know where exactly I am on the map – then, what’s the use of the map?

I wonder whether it is this important to know where I am in my non-bike-life as well. To reach my goals, do I have to know where I stand? And if so – how do I figure that out? Siri, the lady in the iPhone, won’t know...

It’s helpful to talk to friends to learn where I am at. One time, after a walk with Becci, I realized: “Talking to you is like taking a screenshot of my heart.” If you have good friends, you might know more about yourself after talking to them.

Also a good strategy to figure out my current location in life: Chilling out on my bed and staring “wholes into the air” (literal translation of a German expression for contemplating). And then, there is praying, running, and journalling...

I want to encourage today to develop a habit of “checking the blue dot” – a habit of checking where you stand, simply so you know where to go next to reach your destination. If it’s a weekly or monthly thing depends on how many turns and decisions you have to make. But it’s cruel.

Not knowing where you are is sometimes worse than not knowing where you want to go.

Now, that my phone is dead, if you ask me now what the most important thing is that I carry with me, I would say: Nothing. 

Nothing I have with me is essential to get me home anymore. I could let go of everything I have with me - except of Steve. That sounds free and independent, but that's not how my heart feels: I miss my blinking blue dot terribly. I miss knowing where I am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't make it as far as planned today, because I left way too late this morning, around 12:30 pm. I was so terrified that I would get lost that I just tried to hide in the hotel until the world would have forgotten about me. But the cleaning lady found me and Marcia was so friendly to print the directions for me, and so I was sent on my way. Dank je wel!

Finding my way was adventorous, but not as bad as I had feared. I simply have to take more offical streets now, and sadly, that means: Less beautiful places, more kilometers. But it's too late to give up. I can do this. 

You are more than just a person with a rain jacket

Day 10, Thursday: 99,98 km, Dijon to Melay.

What’s new: I don’t care what’s new because everything is wet!

Tool of the day: Waterproof saddlebags. At least I still have some dry clothes to wear in bed.

Hero of the day: Lady with bright lipstick.

Soundtrack (listen to this when you read my post): Clueso - Ey der Regen

I crossed three “départments” today and it rained in all three of these.

I was a living sponge: The lady wearing bright lipstick behind the counter of the chocolate store felt so sorry for me, she offered me some free coffee. When I left the little shop, there was a puddle where I had just stood.

She wasn’t the only one who felt bad for me today. Everyone who saw me, stared at me with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. “Who bikes in this rain? This is no fun! Go home, girl!”

I would have. There just wasn’t really a place to go, except of going forward. I was biking on countryside streets and I really didn’t know what to do. If I stop, who tells me the weather will be better tomorrow? Who would let me in their house? Why does Steve not have a roof?

A picture from another day - a day when there was at least a litle bit of light
(and a day my phone still worked...)

Suddenly, it hit me though: This is it, right here, this is part of doing such a trip. 

This biking thing might be one of the biggest things I’ll ever do, and biking all day in the rain belongs to it. I am simply being confronted with the uncomfortable part of my adventure. But I knew before I started this that this would be hard work, and I was also aware of the fact that I can’t control the weather.

(This sounds like I didn’t mind being wet all day. Believe me, I was not happy today and I wanted to stop all day long. I was cold and miserable and “triste”..)

For all these people in their dry cars, I was just a very unfortuntate girl in the rain. All they could see is a lonesome cowboy on a bike, a girl trying to make her way up the hill before she gets washed back down.

But they don’t know about the 10 crazy-adventorous days full of life that lie behind me. They can’t see that there are picutres of nature in my head I will think of when real life will get on my nerves. If they knew that and looked at me again, they would see someone living their dream. Even if it rains.

A rainy day in my normal, every day life (I am not talking about stormy days with hail and thunder.) is a day where I have a huge misunderstanding with a friend, or having to study for three months straight, or being sick.

But all of these rainy life days are part of this one life I get to live. These days occur because I have friends, because I am a student, because I have a body. These sometimes miserable days still get me where I want to go to, they still belong to this one life I was given. This is it, right there. We are right in the middle of it, and even though there might sometimes be a lot of rain (or hills or flat tires), it’s all part of it. Of this adventure called life.

Let me tell you this: It might look like (and feel like) you are the most pitiful person on the road, but don’t forget: You are not only the person in the rain jacket, you have also come from somehwere and you are going somewhere.

(Just make sure you know where you are going. But we will talk about that on this blog tomorrow :))

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This afternoon, I picked this Chateau in Melay to be my reward if I make it this far. I made it – and it’s charming! I have a huuuuuge room with a huuuuge bed, and at dinner, the lady of the house served us amazing homecooked food. Us, that’s four elderly Dutch couples and I. They spoke German, just for me, and I will fall asleep with their darling Dutch accent in my head...

But:

Even though I made it here - my phone didn’t make it. It died in the rain, 3 km before Melay. There is no hope.

It’s bad, it’s really bad. I use it to navigate and to find a place to sleep. I don’t think it has fully hit me yet, but tomorrow will be .. a big challenge. Good thing my French is slowly improving... ;)

Four hundred and twenty-three.

Day 9, Wednesday: 121 km, Millay to Dijon - only 423 km to go!!!!!!
What's new: I start making plans that concern life after this trip.(Like going snowboarding in 3 weeks.)
Tool of the day: Pocketknife and handy spoon. I eat 2 Avocados a day.
Hero of the day: Pascale & Alexandre made me the best breaktfast with all regional products, and young mom Marie-Luce hosts me tonight in a beautiful house downtown Dijon, which looks like the Villa Kunterbunt.
Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this post): ZAZ - Je veux

Here, this is my random-pictures-collection. I have been waiting to get an opportunity to share them with you, and because I am beyond tired today (I got very, very lost in Dijon... now I know why Aine said: Avoid towns!), this is it for today.

Majestic cow looking majestic.
This is my favorite picutre from the trip so far!

Steve, the bike, and I went shopping in intermarché.
I just did not feel like taking down the saddle bags, so I took him with me.
(Also, can't be without him anymore.)

"Pas de l'anglais" - No English.
Well, they warned you...

Eating an orange, uploading these pictures,
and listening to French music with Marie-Luce.
The life of a bike-blogger.

How to make sure not to meet me

Day 8, Tuesday (one full week on the road!!): 119 km, Bellenaves to Millay.

Tool of the day: My warm hiking socks. Thanks, Mama! It's cold out here.  

Heroes of the day: Merci à Pascale et Alexandre pour un dîner trés, trés bon! Et merci pour faire mon linge.. ;)

Soundtrack (listen to this when you read this post): JJ Heller - What Love really means - Verena, my phoenix, this is for you! (Sending my love in rememberance of late night talks while JJ Heller sang in the background)

A helpful guide: How to make sure not to meet me

Several times a day, I have to pick where I ring the door bell to get water, who I ask for directions or for help to find a place to sleep. If you live somewhere between Biarritz and Heidelberg, chances are, I might knock on your door. I understand, if you don’t want that, because who has time for that stuff?

So here is a guide on how you can make sure I won't bother you:

1. Have an ugly house.
2. Be inside your ugly house (or if you're oustide, ignore me as much as you can).
3. Have the door shut. Don’t have a door bell.
4. Don’t turn on the light inside, even if it’s becoming dark.

 

the old man who lived in this house had no chance.
He had a pretty house, his door was open AND he had an old beautiful bell at the entrance.

Let me explain:

1. Have an ugly house.
During the day, I pick the houses with the cutest decorations or the most flowers or the prettiest paintings to ask for water. Mostly, because I want to know who lives in these pretty houses.

In Germany, there is this saying: “Wo man singt, da lass dich nieder, böse Menschen kennen keine Lieder. - Stay where people sing because bad people don’t know any songs."  I adapted this saying for my purposes and my own saying now is: People in cool  houses are probably good people and that's why they want to give me water.

By the way, it’s not about the fanciest house. I choose the ones that look like someone lives in them who takes care of their house with their heart. This is what I go for.

2. Be inside your ugly house (or if your outside, ignore me as much as you can).

If you are outside, in your garden or on the steps before your house, I might stop and ask in my slow French where the next supermarket is. So better be inside! And if you are outside, don’t look up. Seriously, even if I stop or if you have never seen a German on a bike coming from Biarritz before – don’t look me in the eye! If you do, I might say “Bonjour”.

3. Have the door shut. Don’t have a door bell.

This is easy, because you are probably already in your house when you try to avoid me. I love houses with open doors – when I had to find help on the third day, the family had their door open and I could see their kitchen where they cooked and hung out. Don’t show me to much of your house and family life, I might want to join.

Pro-Advice: Some houses in France don’t have door bells. Knocking at a house feels weird to me, so I usually look around to find one with with a door bell. You might find that good to know.

4. Don’t turn on the light inside, even if it’s becoming dark.

It is also a good advice to not use lights. I might know you are there, and especially if I am depserate, this is how I know someone lives in the house - someone who could help me.

That’s it. If you do these things, you might not get interrupted in your daily life by a passing stranger.

By the way - this is also a helpful guide, if you want to learn how to invite people in your life – just flip the advice around and do the opposite ;) 

I, for my part, decided today that I want to be a house with an open door. 

I’ll try to look nice, because I want to look like I take care of things: of me, and of you, if you need me to. Also, I want to be “in my garden”, meaning: I want to be out there, acitvely and lovingly, so in case you are looking for some help, I am already in your life and you can find me easily. 

And then, the thing about the light. Light really does attract people. I love being around people who are hopeful! But I can’t produce hope, and I can’t fake feeling “light”, if I don’t (And I don’t always, because people are annoying and I am impatient).

For me, this light inside of me is Jesus. All I can try to be is transparent. But if you meet me, I want you to see him shining through me. Because it is him who makes me shine.

arrived in the 2-house-village right before it got stormy. 

Why do little places like this make me so happy? This is my room for tonight.
I love this adventure!

Girl on a bike going nuts

Day 7, Monday: 95 km, Aubusson to Bellenaves
What's new: Ok. Halbzeit. First half!!! Enter Biarritz, Bellenaves and Heidelberg in Google Maps and you see what I am talking about.
Tool of the day: Tried the "click"-shoes today for the first time! They are awesome!
Hero of the day: Jacques, who offered me a place to sleep (70th km) when it started to rain. No, I have mission, I needed to keep going. "I'll come pick you up with your bike if it rains harder, here's my number." How should he have known that I love the rain.. :)
Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this post): Ed Sheeran - I see fire

Do you want to know what's going on in my head all day?
It wasn't as foggy as yesterday, so I could see far, and all I saw was: Mountains, hills, elevation. I literally sang in my head: "I see fiiiireee... inside of mountains... I seee fireee... burning my knees." As my head was empty and bored today, I sang that song a lot. It got to the point that I decided I needed some new engagment.

"Biking is the most exhausting way to look .. bad." Elke sent this to me from the doctor's waiting room.
(Please - someone suggest a better transalation).

Wouldn't half way through this trip be a good time to try these fancy click-bike-pro-shoes I carried so far already?
They were the only thing in my saddle bag I hadn't used until now (next to the bag full of repair equipment which I really hope I will never need). Last night, my pro-biker sister Anna had encouraged me to try them, and Martin, the 70-year old Londoner I met last night, explained to me why they make sense.

Elli, who has helped me over the phone to get them off the pedal the first day (I had just wanted to see how they fit on there and didn't get them off anymore) said that I should practice to click in and out leaning against a wall with my bike.
It was good advice, because I had no idea what I was doing. I practiced a little bit, fell twice, and then I decided I was ready.
So: saddlebags back on, and go.
It is quite scary, being so attached to the pedal. If you forget you are wearing them and you try to get off, you fall at once. Out of fear, I finally had a new mantra in my head: "You are wearing click shoes, you are wearing click shoes, you are...".

Problem: I forgot they were on both feet. When I wanted to get off the next time, my new earworm reminded me:"You are wearing click shoes" and I clicked out. On the right side. But I forgot the left side and fell anyway, right on the street. Ouch. Mama.

The new song needed to be adapted: "You are wearing click shoes on both feet, you are wearing click shoes on both feet."

On I went.

As you can see, some days are more exciting than others. All I do is cycle, from the morning until night, bike and eat, counting kilometers and sweating nonstop. My knees really did hurt today, but I had to be quick because I didn't know where I would be sleeping (which means: trying to get to the final destination as early as possible) and I was just really bored up there on my bike. But that's life. Even the greatest adventure has its routine.

Tomorrow, I'll get up early, as I am trying to go 115 kilometers - to get to this cute little place in Millay. Sometimes, booking ahead and having a place to go to is amazingly motivating.

If you know someone in/close to:
- Fresnes-sur-Apance
- Miloy
e-mail me: rosarollt@gmail.com :)

You are courageous, I am adventorous

A very happy girl in the French forest.

Day 6, Sunday: 81 km, Meilhards to Aubusson.
What's new: I love this!
Tool of the day: My super rain jacket from Sherpea!
Hero of the day: Susi. Susi. Susi.
Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this post): Mighty oaks - Just one day Danke Laura! Fürs Logo-Design und dieses Lied.

When I woke up this morning, anxiety kicked in again. The window was wet from the rain, and I was still traumatized from the long and exciting day yesterday. "God, you need to be strong for me", I prayed and thought of the donkeys.
(Yesterday's blogpost updated. Go, read it, it's a crazy story) :)

Having breakfast with Susi, Francois and the two little ones was comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. I want to go cuddle on the couch and watch KIKA, too! But it felt so good to speak German, and Susi gave me my laundry she washed and dried and that was a happy moment. While I had my coffee, I felt that my spirits were coming back.

"Tu es courageuse" is a sentence I heard a lot these past days. But when Susi told me this morning how eight years ago, she decided to marry the man she loved, Francois, and move with him to the French countryside for good, I realized: I might be adventorous, yes - but the people I have met along the way are brave.

The thing is: I don’t have to do this. This is only a thing of two weeks, not a decision for life. I don’t risk anything. If my bike gets stolen, if my body hurts, even if I just don’t feel like it anymore – I can just get the train. I know my parents will always have my back and not heistate to hop into the car and come pick me up right where I am if there's a problem. 

Yes, I know: This is a big adventure and I know I am not an "Angsthase".

But courage to me is to make a decision that changes your whole life. A decision that changes everything you have done so far, and no going back (or no going back without being terribly hurt). Decisions like that terrify me! If you have ever made such a choice, let me tell you this: "You are courageous, I am adventorous."

-------

Today was (physically) the hardest day I had so far - and (emotionally) the best! I had so much fun, I felt like Louis Armstrong on his tour de france: On drugs. I smiled like a happy penguin, even though it rained on me all day. At one point, I felt like I was swimming when I flew down a hill and all the rain splashed into my face. And there was never (!) a flat part of the street - going up and down all day by myself in a 50-kilometer-long hilly Forest. 
And because it was Sunday, it was "treatday" and only 80 kilometers were on the plan. Now trying to get my stuff dry and off to dinner with a lovely British couple I met in town.
 

Going downhill again. No one out there, just me and my bike.

Pepette saved me from the wolves

Day 5, Saturday: 105 km, Périgueux to Meilhards

What's new: I still don't know if I will make it.

Soundtrack of the day: Limp Bizkit- Keep rollin. Thanks for this song and thank you for your friendship, Maggie. Ich glaub an dich!

Heros of the day: The 84- year old Pepette, Antony and Susi.



Here is the story of how Pepette was right where I had expected her to be - although she didn't know I would need her to help me find Susi.

Selfie with Pepette and Susi, the next morning before I got back on the road.

Imagine this:

Antony, who you have never met but only e-mailed, is so kind to find you a host for the night: Susi. You don't know anything, but only that she wouldn't be home until 9 pm. "That's okay", you say to Antony, "I'll find a place to wait. Like a restaurant".

He gives you her number, but it doesn''t work, and there is also no way to reach him anymore. Also, you call the only restaurant in the village and you hear it's closed that night. It will be dark soon, you don't have an address nor a place to wait and you are still ten kilometers away from the village.



What do you do?

a) You hope the village will be very, very, very small, like two houses, so you find Susis house right away, and you can wait for her in the other house.

b) You hope that the little village will be way bigger than it looked like online so you can find something else in case you can't find them - like 10 bars, 17 restaurants and 9 cheap hotels.  

c) You pray that there will be someone to help you right when you arrive.



I did all of the above, but mostly - c).

Cycling towards Meilhards, I became really worried, but suddenly thought of the Bible story (Mark 11,2) where Jesus tells his apostels: "Go on your way. There will be a donkey waiting for you in the next village."



For some reason, I decided, that my donkey needed to be an elderly lady waiting for me to help me (proabaly because she couldn't do me any harm). So I prayed for one that will be right there when I arrive. I couldn't think of anything else but hoping that even though it was already becoming dark, she would be outside of her house when I arrive and that she would know Susi and that she would let me stay with her until it's 9 pm.



And when I came over the last little hill towards beautiful Meilhards - there sat Pepette, outside on the bench of the first house. Of course.



After Pepette called around and even one of her friends came to help, we reached Susi. I waited in Pepettes little kitchen and had a sandwich and I learnt that Susi was a young German woman from Thüringen, married to a French famrer.

When I left Pepette, she said: "Je t'ai sauvée. Maintenant, les loups ne peuvent pas te prendre!" ("I saved you, now the wolves can't come get you anymore").



Susi and her husband are tremendously generous, supportive and fun! After some wine and choclate, I got to sleep in the cutest guest room over their bakery. When Susi brought me to the little house the bakery is in, she said: "Oh, by the way, we have two donkeies, they are right here on the paddock next to the bakery."



---------------------------------



I want to say this: Meilhards is absolutely awesome! It's the cutest little village, the area is b-e-a-utiful and the people are obviously really lovely. Je vais retourner - in the summer, when Francois, his brother and Susi have bakery parties on Friday nights (pictures on their Facebook-pages) :) And then, in the morning, I will bring Pepette her baguette and sit on the bench with her and listen to old Meilhards stories (she's lived there her whole life). - Definitely worth a visit!

Every hill can be a mountain

beautiful vineyareds. can't be mad at them even though they are hilly.

Day 4,
Friday: 125 km, Mourons (close to Cadillac) to Périgueux.

What’s new:I think I might have hit the 1000-km-to-go mark. “Only” 980 to go!

Hero of the day: The old grandma who waved to me in Douzillvac. You made my day!

Soundtrack: Gareth Logan – My bike trip song. Thank you Gareth!!! Happy birthday!

You know how I wrote about these beautiful vineyards yesterday that showed up towards
the end of the day?

When I woke up this morning I realized that this would mean for today: hills hills hills. For some reason, I was really motivated. I am suprised myself because I went to bed feeling pretty desperate: “It’s still such a long way! I can’t believe I am doing this! Uni starts in 10 days, I am too slow, and this sucks.”

While falling asleep, I felt like I’ve had enough. But over night, I appearently made
the decision that I will keep trying.

"God loves a trier" - Coffee mug at Regi's house, first night. (God loves everyone).

And there I was again, cruising up and down the hills having the time of my life! Oh, what a blast I had.

Sadly, all the speed I get from going down isn’t of long help when it goes up again. The thing is: Every hill becomaes a huge mountain if you have lots of luggage.

I am actually thinking about picking a few things out of my two saddle bags and
sending them home. There are many hills to come.

Downshifiting and minimizing and living with less is super hip right now (I’m a big fan) so you probably all know what I am trying to say: We shouldn’t only try to have less luggagge when biking, but also in live. Hills are hard anyway and so is life. Bringing lots of frustration and anger and grieve with us turns hills into mountains.

I think of a friend who recently said: “I know they all don’t mean it, but every time they say something, I hear it with the already broken heart of mine and that’s why it’s so painful everytime.” Letting go of pain means: Going up a hill without lugage and with more energy.

Sadly, it’s not always as easy as sending a box to my parents.

Tonight, I am staying with Florent and his daughter Laura, who rent out a very cheap room on airbnb. They are super nice and gave me the main bed room. Terribly missing my wonderful bed at home, though. And my clothes. Sometimes I think of random things I own, like my favorite red sweater or my winter boots and I want to go get them right away and wear them.

Yes, I am missing my clothes like crazy.. Also, I need to find a washing maschine tomorrow. Urgently.

Navi 3.0 - wrote down towns I should try to find on my way to know I am right.

Following section is for everyone who likes riddles - I need some
advice.

1. Can someone please let me know why the GPS does take the biggest detours? Like – is
that a thing it needs to do? And does it do direct distance (as the bird flies) or why are the kilometers always so off? I navigated myself today with Google-Maps towns I had written down. Someone, please do research and let me know, it’s a Garmin Edge 800 with a City Navigator – SD Card.
Thank you.

2. Is there a helpful homepage that shows me the elevation of the upcoming route? I can’t
seem to find a good one online.. 

If you have questions, e-mail me: rosarollt@gmail.com
– I will answer reader questions soon :)  (I heard that’s what bloggers do).

"J'ai besoin d'aide" means I need help

Day 3, Thursday: 119 km. Sabre to je-ne-sais-pas (close to Cadiallc), with a huge detour.

What’s new: My right knee hurts.

Heros of the day: Isabelle again for finding Alaine & Andrea for me, who I never ended up staying with, because Phillipe and his wife had to save me.

Soundtrack (listen to this while you read my post): Boy - Drive

I got terriby lost in a forest today around noon and when I pushed my bike through a sandy road, I though that this is what I am going to write about today: “Don’t build your house on the sandy land and don’t bike on sandy streets with heavy bags on your bike.” Little did I know that this day would get much worse.

Isabelle, my lovely beautiful host from last night, had organised a place for me to sleep close to Pellegrue. After lunch, around 3 pm, when I realized I still had to go 75 kilometers to get there due to my unfortunate morning, I decided: “I still can do this” and started pedalling. When I called the family 2 hours later, it was only 40 kilometers more to go.

But my GPS wanted to show me around this amazing area. For some reason, it took me around a beautiful wine street and I got to see vineyards and farms. But after 2,5 hours of going crazy on my bike, I still was (according to Google Maps) 40 kilometers away from where I wanted to sleep. I really don’t know how that happened. Will unpack the mannual tonight and read it.

Again, I decided: I can do this. Somehow. I have no choice.

I didn’t really have time to whine about it, I had to keep going. I wish I would work in real live like this. Too often, I find myself regretting, pondering and reconsidering stuff that can’t be reconsidered. Not so today. No time to be mad at the GPS, I just had to keep going.

But then suddenly it was 7:50 pm, I had already gone 110 kilometers today – and I still was not closer to where I wanted to go.

If it was for me, I probably would have kept going and going and going until I arrived at the house of Andrea and Alaine, the nice couple who agreed to host me. Just because I wanted to meet them and I was so excited to have a place to sleep. But I had also made a promise to my dad: No biking when it’s dark. And I was going to keep this promise. So I finally stopped when the sun started to set and it hit me: I need help.

I saw a family in a house – the window was open and they were cooking and they looked nice. I took a deep breath, took a step toward their door – and turned around again because I realized that if I had to talk now, I might start to cry. Breathe.

Okay, here I go. “J’ai besoin d’aide” I said.

I write this post in my own little room in their house, where Phillipe et la madame de masion have invited me into. I had bread, paté, and a yummi egg-bacon-tomato-onion ragout for dinner, and yoghurt and chesse.  

And now I will go to sleep. And try to forget that everyone seems so worried about the hilly area that is coming up.

Merci, merci, mercia à Alaine + Andrea who would (nearly) have hosted me. Je suis trés désolée que je n’ai jamais arivée! Calling you to tell you I wouldn’t come was sad, but you built me up so nicley on the phone even though you have never met me. France, je t’aime!

And then – merci beaucuop à cette famille. Merci, Sebastien, pour les cartes. Vous êtes trop gentils ! I am sooo thankful!

About swimming pools and peace.

Day 2,Wednesday: Hossegor to Sabres, 97,7 km.
What’s new: I still don't feel any pain in my butt. This lotion is awesome! ;)
Heroes of the day: The old man in his little workshop who fixed my bike for free and his
wife who gave me water. Also: Isabelle (see blog text).
Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this post): O.A.R. - Peace






What do you
think when you wake up and you see your bike through the window and you have 1200 km to go?

 

Here is what I thought:
Screw this bike ride, I'll stay at the swimming pool all day! ;)

 

But when a
few hours later, I found myself flying through the most beautiful French
forest, on today’s 47^th kilometer, I rememberd: This is pretty cool!
I love this!

I see such
beautiful places, I can’t even process them. Even though I have so much time on
my bike, my head spins in this majestic nature. I rode through a reservoir
today (if you google my route of today, you see, it’s all green around me).
When I ate my Quiche Lorraine at a beautiful spot, I was blown away by how
quiet and lovely and peaceful this place of the world is.

And it made
me think of all these people on this world who are in the midst of war and
persecution right now. While I hear happy birds, they hear bombs. I thank God
for the peace I get to experience. But my heart breaks for all those who only
know the feeling of fear this year.

Even though
I (and probably most of the people who read this) don’t have an actual war
raging around me, I still don’t always feel peaceful. Too many times I
struggle, I am scared, I am preoccoupied with my thoughts, running for my life
insde.

 “What’s peace for me?” I thought. “Simply not having to fight ? The
absence of fights around me (social life, Uni burecraucy, expectations of others)
and inside me (regrets, fears, impatience)? Does peace for me mean: Not having
to worry?”

No, that
can’t be. If I only can be at peace when everything is fine, I will never be
peaceful – neither on this ride, nor ever in life. 

Because there is a lot to worry about in life. A lot of stuff can go wrong. 

And also, arent there always moments of
peacefulness in the midst of “not-knowing”? Just like today. I felt pretty chill the
whole time even though I didn’t know for quite awhile where I would sleep tonight. "Why do I feel so peaceful? Because of the beatuy around me?" I wondered. And then I realized: I felt peaceful, in this very moment, not only because I am not in a war zone, but
because I trusted. I trusted that I will have a great place to sleep.
Maybe I could trust, because Regi and I had prayed for it this morning. Maybe, because I didn't have another choice. One thing is for sure: Trusting makes me feel peaceful, trusting
in the one who knows. 

(I don’t know how that is supposed to look like in the middle of an actual war, though...)

So - where did I end up?

 

During lunch, I found Isabelle on AirBnb, who lives in the little village Sabres. 

Aine, my Irish colleague at the hostel, and I picked this village a few weeks ago as my second destination.

I wrote to Isabelle and then took a little 20-minute-nap. When I woke up, she had already answered: The room
she offers on airbnb was not free – but she suggested to have me in her
house. How cool is that?

Now I am in the cutest little house in a tiny village in France, with a full stomach (got to join
the family dinner). I ate two full plates because Johannes said: Eat, eat eat! 
 

Psalm 85, 9
(opened up my bible my first stop on the first day and read this verse)

    8I will hear what God the LORD will say;

           For He
will speak peace to His people, to His godly ones;

           But let
them not turn back to folly.

      9Surely His salvation is near to
those who fear Him,

           That
glory may dwell in our land.

      10Lovingkindness and truth have met
together;

           Righteousness
and peace have kissed each other.

      11Truth springs from the earth,

           And
righteousness looks down from heaven.

      12Indeed, the LORD will give what is good,

           And our
land will yield its produce.

      13Righteousness will go before Him

           And
will make His footsteps into a way.

Saw this paddock with animals today.

There were horses, goats, sheep, chicken, all in the same paddock.

Rare sight, so many different animals in one area. Peace out!

A glimpse of the amazing little farms I get to see the whole time.

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