A blinking blue dot and my heart

Day 11, Friday: 73 km, Melay to Epinal.

What’s new: There is a countdown in my head now, counting down the kilometers. It will start tomorrow with the number: 251

Tool of the day: (in remeberance) the blinking blue dot on Google Maps

Hero of the day: The Dutch couple in the room next to me, which I had asked last night to wake me today... because: no phone, no alarm clock. And Simon (Dutch pronounciation: Schimon), who got out a machine (compressor?) to refill my tire.

Soundtrack (listen to this while you read this blog post): Josh Wilson – Carry me. - And this is also a hello & big congrats to the newly engaged couple Jule + Phil!! You are so perfect for each other, it makes my heart rejoice. Can’t wait to celebrate with you!

If you had asked me two days ago what the most important thing is that I carry with me, I would have answered: A blue dot. It’s in my phone and it tells me where I am.

Usually, in the morning before I leave, I load the map for the day on my Google-Maps-App. During the day, I follow my notes, and if I am not sure that I am still right, I check the blue dot on my phone. It indicates where I am, and because I know where I want to go, I can make sure I am getting closer somehow.

stole this picture from this website transrio.com.ar solely for illustration purposes (no phone, no photos..)
Now you all know how a blue dot looks like.

I am in love with this blue dot. It tells me: “Not there yet”. Or: “Careful, you are too far off the route you planned.” It’s so helpful! (I remember my big hiking trip through Germany three years ago, without Smartphone, and all these desperate moments of not exactly knowing where I am...)

Because the thing is: If I know where I want to go, but I don’t know where exactly I am on the map – then, what’s the use of the map?

I wonder whether it is this important to know where I am in my non-bike-life as well. To reach my goals, do I have to know where I stand? And if so – how do I figure that out? Siri, the lady in the iPhone, won’t know...

It’s helpful to talk to friends to learn where I am at. One time, after a walk with Becci, I realized: “Talking to you is like taking a screenshot of my heart.” If you have good friends, you might know more about yourself after talking to them.

Also a good strategy to figure out my current location in life: Chilling out on my bed and staring “wholes into the air” (literal translation of a German expression for contemplating). And then, there is praying, running, and journalling...

I want to encourage today to develop a habit of “checking the blue dot” – a habit of checking where you stand, simply so you know where to go next to reach your destination. If it’s a weekly or monthly thing depends on how many turns and decisions you have to make. But it’s cruel.

Not knowing where you are is sometimes worse than not knowing where you want to go.

Now, that my phone is dead, if you ask me now what the most important thing is that I carry with me, I would say: Nothing. 

Nothing I have with me is essential to get me home anymore. I could let go of everything I have with me - except of Steve. That sounds free and independent, but that's not how my heart feels: I miss my blinking blue dot terribly. I miss knowing where I am.

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I didn't make it as far as planned today, because I left way too late this morning, around 12:30 pm. I was so terrified that I would get lost that I just tried to hide in the hotel until the world would have forgotten about me. But the cleaning lady found me and Marcia was so friendly to print the directions for me, and so I was sent on my way. Dank je wel!

Finding my way was adventorous, but not as bad as I had feared. I simply have to take more offical streets now, and sadly, that means: Less beautiful places, more kilometers. But it's too late to give up. I can do this.